Private Hell
by Lucy Light
Summary: Sex trafficking. As true in the muggle world as it is in the wizarding world. Told from the inside. Rated for mentions of rape, abuse, swearing and overall melancholia.
1. Prologue

It was dark, darker than usual. Kaya was still sleeping soundly next to me, but the noises wouldn't leave me alone. I could hear the girl screaming above us. Most people got used to it. I didn't. I couldn't. Well…sometimes I could, but never when it was a new girl. You could always tell by the screams. When you got used to it you wouldn't cry hysterically anymore. All emotions would leave you before you entered the chamber. It was the only way you could survive.

But the new girls still felt the panic, the endless struggle to stay pure and undefiled. We, the "old" girls that is, were already broken. If we pretended we were somewhere else, with someone else, we could get through it. But some of us we're already dead. Inside if not for real. We were killed if we ever tried to escape. That was the ruthless reality we lived in. The bloodtraitor-girls. Teenage girls from pureblood families that didn't want them anymore.

Usually they had done something so incredibly vile like for example getting impregnated by a mudblood, or, even worse, a muggle. Sometimes they had only talked to them. And some pureblood families even sent their daughters here for a month or so to "teach them a lesson", but a number of them actually committed suicide when they returned home so most of them stopped doing that.

The girls that were here now were here for life. Unless someone bought them. Which was very unlikely since the price that was put on them was close to 100 million galleons. And they could get the sex for much less than that. Anything they wanted. The downside of magic was just that. You could be forced to do anything and be completely unable to even fight back. Even so, stupefy was rarely used as most elderly wizards (their usual clientele) appreciated it when the girls put up a fight. Many wizards in their 40s late 50s, usually very distinguished men of the law, liked to get drunk from time to time and swing by this old place to find a young girl they could share.

This was, of course, a very well-kept secret. As was the place in question.


	2. The Awakening

I awoke to an empty room. Kaya must've got up to take a walk around the castle. Unless… no, no I would have heard them come in. Slowly I dragged myself out of my scruffy old bed. A look in the antique mirror by the door revealed my all too familiar pale and thin appearance. Even in the gloomy darkness. The hall was as empty as it usually was at this hour. Only a faint light seeping through the crack, of the door at the far end of the hallway, gave me the reassuring feeling that I was not alone. I tiptoed on the red velvety carpet all the way to the door, so as not to wake anyone else. They needed all the sleep they could get. The walls were tattered and dusty. It gave me the eerie feeling of an old abandoned mansion. Or in fact a castle. Which it was.

As I slowly pushed the door open a small creaking sound emanated from the hinges. I put my knuckle in my mouth and prayed to the heavens above that no one had heard me. The room remained silent. I let out a small sigh and continued down the hall. You'd figure that with the amount of money they brought in through this business that they might be able to clear of some of the dust, but no. Maybe because that would require hiring staff to do so, and staff meant more people knowing the truth about this place. People who weren't to know.

My sheer nightgown was sticking to my body like glue, as the heat radiating from where the bosses were currently having their morning pick-me-up (or nightcap depending on whether they had just woken up or still hadn't gone to bed) streamed through the cracks in the walls and embraced me. It gave me an uneasy feeling of nakedness but I shook it of by reminding myself that the innocent times of being shy when it came to my body had now passed.

I circled the place where I knew I was unwelcomed and dragged myself down the stairs to the second floor of the castle. It was colder here, and more… damp. That's because it was mostly used as an entrance hall for the guests. No real place to stay longer than for a few minutes. The first floor was a massive room, almost as big as my house back home, and as I entered it I felt the uneasy feeling I always felt when I saw these walls. Buried beneath the thick layers of dust was an old tapestry depicting up to 300 different pureblood families, of which mine was included, with 298 somehow blood related, whether it be closely or from afar.

My first boyfriend had belonged to the Benoni family. One of the rare one's who were not interrelated. I walked up to where his face had been forever engraved in gypsum. I brushed away most of the thick layer of dust that had gathered around his handsome face over the years. If my circumstances would've been different my face would've also been immortalised on the tapestry back home. Never here though, this place was only reserved for the winners. The ones who were something special. Also this tradition had died out a couple of years ago. When the castle was still filled with music and laughter. Oh wait, it still was, all you had to do was tune out the screams and somehow imagine the former glory of this place. It still wasn't the same. Those laughter's had been different.

I turned my attention to the door, but slowly came to a halt. Nobody had been outside. The door would've been left open just the slightest. But it was completely shut. I walked towards it anyway to make sure. Felt the handle under my hand and realised it had been locked from the outside.

So where was Kaya…


	3. The Realisation

I sometimes thought about my father. Not often though. But occasionally my mind would wander off to that distant time where he still loved me. Or I liked to imagine he had. If it was true then he was the only one. Unfortunately he walked out when I was very young but to this day he had been the only one who I could ever remember hugged me or tried to comfort me after I'd hurt myself. He had never smiled though. So maybe he was doing it as a chore rather than for love. Or, more logically, I had no memory of him at all and I had only made all this up to ease that empty feeling you get when you know you're not loved.

Anyway, I was thinking about him right about then. Just a quick image of his face passed through my head when I heard the creaking hinges to my right. I turned and ended up face to face with Anthony, one of the few servants who worked there.

"What are you doing here!" he scolded.

"My roommate's missing" I answered casually, ignoring the angry tone in his voice.

"And you think she's gone outside, do you?"

"I think she's not in her room". I was used to talking matter-of-factly. It was the easiest way to get by when you never wanted any emotion to be heard in your voice. After a couple of years, you didn't want to give them the satisfaction. And you learned how to bottle everything up like a master.

Anthony sighed and threw me an annoyed look before turning to walk up the stairs.

"I'll see what I can do"

Now I knew telling on her was wrong and I shouldn't have done it but I was getting really scared by this point. She had never disappeared like that before.

I walked all the way up to our room and closed the door to the outside world. I knew it would be a couple of hours until I found out what had happened to Kaya. Anthony was never in any kind of a rush and neither was the men in charge.

My bed felt warmer now. The air had dropped in the room significantly and I couldn't wait to get under the covers. But all along that terrifying feeling haunted me. The one that told me something horrible had happened to Kaya. Kaya, who was sweet and caring and laughed unbothered by the fact that often people didn't laugh with her. Kaya, whose dark sense of humour got me through every day. Kaya, who had been my best friend for 3 years. Who had loved me when I had thought of myself as unlovable. Held me when I cried. Whistled soothing sounds in my ear when I could not sleep. Like this night. This night I couldn't sleep.

And yet, the next morning when I woke up I realised I had to have dozed off for at least a couple of minutes at a time. Drifted in and out of sleep the way I always did when I was worried.

Someone was banging on the door so I slowly crawled out of my cosy comfort and headed towards the noise. I peered through a small crack in the wood and saw Anthony standing there, looking respectable in a white suit and black polished shoes.

"Open the door for peeps sake!"

His annoyance, as well as his obvious ill will for cussing, gave me a vague sense of satisfaction.

"Hello, Anthony" I said monotonely after sliding the door open.

"Aludra… "His voice hung in the air. "I have been informed that you're roommate, Miss Kaya…. Um…" (the staff was not provided with surnames…and we weren't worthy of them)

"Yes…" I said letting a hint of impatience creep into my voice.

"She… her family has come for her and she will no longer be… well… present…"

It took a while for the words to register.

"Her family…" I said sceptically. "Has come for her…"

"Yes…"

"They've come to pick her up in the middle of the night… just like that…"

"I suppose"

"And how did they enter the room without me noticing, exactly?"

"Miss… Aludra… I was never given any details. Regardless of which, I was to inform you that you will be receiving a new roommate shortly"

"I don't want one" I said flatly. "I want Kaya back"

"Kaya is with her family…"

"I don't believe you. They never gave a shit about Kaya before, why would they care now."

He winced at the word "shit", but decided to shake it off.

"If you must know I personally saw Kaya's mother here the other day, which is very unusual if she weren't to be picked up"

"How could you possibly know what Kaya's mother looks like?"

"My father is an old friend of the family"

"And yet… you don't know her last name…"

He gave me an irritated glance.

"Never paid much attention. Either way Mr Henning has decided to let you sleep in today. Tomorrow you will receive your new roommate."

"How nice of him" I almost snarled.

Anthony left without a word. I closed the door and headed back to bed. Not that I would get much more sleep. I was exhausted but my mind was consumed by thoughts of Kaya. Where was she? Where had they taken her? Slowly my eyes were growing heavier and right when I was on the merge of finally getting some sleep another thought popped into my head. My father. Why had I thought about my father earlier today? I could remember the hinges creaking. I saw his face at the door. Two quiet grey eyes leaving me to fend for myself in this world. I saw those grey eyes every time I looked in the mirror. There were always very few pictures of him at home so I often wondered how I could remember his appearance so clearly. Maybe I did remember him after all.

Bitterness soared through me as I thought about the moment he left. Even though I was still unsure whether or not it was a real memory, the same sentence appeared in my mind every time: "Are you proud daddy, are you proud of what I've become?"

I closed my eyes and the world disappeared for a while.

It was late afternoon when I finally awoke. The sun was seeping through the dirty windows and my room was bathing in light. It was almost beautiful. Tragically beautiful. An ex-boyfriend of mine had once called me a walking tragedy. If he had only known how true his words would become. Not just for me but for all of us.

A clang brought me back to reality. Food… the thought of it made me feel sick. It wasn't like missing a meal could make a difference anymore. If anything I'd starve to death and then at least I would get out of this hell hole. Whatever was on the other side couldn't be worse than what was on this side, anyway…

It almost scared me how much I had stopped dreading death. In fact, I sometimes even welcomed the idea. Not necessarily being dead and buried but the thought of returning as a ghost and haunting the shit out of all of these bastards without them being able to lift a finger to defend themselves made me smile. No longer defenceless. No longer a victim.

A loud shriek brought me back to reality. I hastily threw of the covers and sprinted out into the corridor. It was silent. But then I heard it again.

"Rebecca!" I shouted.

She never screamed anymore. Never. I followed the length of the corridor and came to a halt at the end of it. A few steps down stood Mr Henning with an iron grip around the neck of sweet Rebecca-Rose and right across from him Sirius Black, mass murderer and blood traitor was holding his wand dangerously close to his head.


	4. The Confrontation

I flew down the stairs without thinking and flung my arms around Rebecca. I had no idea what I was doing, but it was all I could think of doing. Protect a friend.

Black was slowly lowering his wand.

"I know you…" he mumbled silently.

"I should hope so" I remarked, my mind suspiciously absent during this bizarre moment. "Not that you've ever been the least bit kind to any part of your family, but I'd assume you'd still recognise them…however long it's been."

"You're my niece" he said flatly.

I didn't reply. Rebecca stiffened slightly next to me.

Mr Henning loosened his grip on Rebecca and stared angrily at Black.

"You have no right to come marching in like this…"

"No right! You have no idea why I'm here, do you?"

"I assume you've heard some preposterous rumours regarding what kind of business we run…"

"I don't give a horses arse what 'business' goes on here." He practically spat the words out.

"Then w…"

"Lily and James Potter…"

"I'm not sure I…"

"You've been stealing money from my dead friends for years!"

Mr Henning squinted at Black.

"I see…" the words came out slowly. He seemed to be thinking rapidly.

I swallowed and put my arm on Rebecca's shoulder.

"Would it be alright if we leave?"

They seemed to have forgotten we were present, because both turned their heads towards us in an instant. As if surprised.

"Yes, leave…" Mr Henning waved us off without another word. I took Rebecca and started walking towards our rooms.

"Aludra…" I heard behind me. My feet slowly turned and I stared blankly at Sirius Black.

He said nothing. Nada. Not even goodbye. It seemed like he was trying to say something though. Maybe because he thought some words belonged in here somewhere. He couldn't seem to find a place for them though. A quick nod. That was all I got. All I deserved.

As we were walking away I leaned towards Rebecca's ear and whispered "why were you there?"

"Mr Henning needed a nightcap" her tone was flat, lifeless.

I squeezed her arm slightly and we continued up the stairs.

"You go ahead" I said, as we were standing beside her door. "Get some rest."

She nodded and left me alone in the chilly hallway. I pulled my nightgown tighter around me and walked the path back from where we had just come. I could hear their loud voices as I slowly approached. Right next to the doorway was a corner where the same old dusty plant had been standing for years now. It probably had some kind of spell fixed on it. Or it was plastic. It had never seemed important enough to find out.

I pushed the plant slightly to the side and leaned against the wall. My right hand searched for the doorframe and when I reached it I leaned in slightly, resting my knee on the flower pot that the plant had had the honour of gracing.

"The money's all gone Black…what do you want me to do"

"I want you to own up to your crimes!"

"Or what? You'll kill me…"

"I am tempted yes…"

"You're a traitor and a scoundrel, but you've never had the guts to actually perform a dark charm"

"No but I've cut a few people like you open during my time…"

"What, Jerry?! You think cutting a piece of his ear of makes you a bloody murderer. Serves you right that you're imprisoned for it then"

BANG! Mr Henning was now up against the wall, Black's wand shoved deep into his hyoid bone.

"You knew where I was when they were murdered! You knew!" Black's head was shaking with rage. His face was twitching uncontrollably.

"Get your hands of me, you…"

"I needed witnesses!" spit was spotting Mr Henning's greasy face. The wand was now so deeply plunched in, he could hardly breathe. I wondered whether or not I should step in, but I couldn't find a good reason to help the sorry old bastard.

After a while Sirius lowered his wand slightly.

"Don't you have…any remorse?"

"Don't you…?" Mr Henning slowly pulled himself together.

The words hung in the air like a rain-filled cloud.

Black looked down at the floor. And then up again.

"You…have no idea"

"He was your brother Sirius, your own flesh and blood"

And what was I? Dust?

"He played his hand and I played mine" Black was staring at something far away in the distance. Something only he seemed to be able to see.

"Is that what you tell yourself when you can't sleep at night?"

I had no idea what they were talking about. I only knew it involved my father. Any other child might have been horrified when finding out secrets like this. But because of our relationship, or lack thereof, I could only feel neutral. Also I was tired of dark secrets. There were too many of them.

"Sleep? What sleep? There's no sleep in Azkaban. Not really." His words were full of pain. I tried to pity him. I really did.

"You've got no one to blame but yourself, my friend"

"I'm not your friend. You don't have friends" Black started walking away.

"And you? Do you have friends, Sirius?"

"I think we both know the answer to that" Black was hanging by the door. The door that would lead him out of there and out of my sight. He would probably get caught in a matter of days. He would be sent back to Azkaban. I would never see him again. Or so I thought at the time. And that's probably how things would have turned out had not the flower pot started to slide, had I not lost my grip on the doorframe. With a loud thud I slammed against the floor. To make matters worse I also landed halfway on the flower pot, whose shards had now dug into my stomach. I was bleeding and aching all over, cringing at the thought of looking up and seeing both men staring down at me.


	5. The Confusion

My head was spinning as I looked up into Mr Black's eyes. So like my father's. And mine. With a rough movement I was scooped up from the floor and pinned against the wall. Mr Henning's eyes were furious and his nails were digging into my wrists.

"What did you hear, girl!?"

I whimpered as the pain registered in my brain. "I…I…"

Suddenly he was pulled away and Black was holding him by the neck.

"Leave her alone…" he hissed. "She's hurt".

He was looking at my stomach, where blood was oozing through my nightgown and dripping on my feet. Mr Henning looked as though he barely noticed, or possibly as though he didn't care.

"This here was confidential. We can't have miss 'nosy-pants' over here blabbing about"

"So what do you propose we do? Kill her?" Black's voice was sarcastic. I wasn't sure he knew Mr Henning at all.

"I am tempted…"

Black looked at Henning as if to see whether or not he was joking.

"She's a child" he said simply. "Get me a towel"

"What?"

"She's bleeding all over the place, get her a towel!" he almost shouted.

To my surprise Mr Henning obeyed, albeit reluctantly. Black surveyed me briefly as if to see whether or not I had any other injuries. Then he looked at my face.

"Are you okay?"

What a stupid question. "Of course I'm okay" I said weakly. "I barely feel a thing"

He smiled. He thought I was joking. Maybe I was. Depending on what kind of "okay" he was referring to.

"Henning will be here with a towel soon, don't worry"

I wasn't worried. I would, however, be when Henning showed up.

"C-Can't you…heal it…"

"Yes…but it needs to be cleaned first. It's pretty deep. We should probably get you to a Healer." He was looking at my stomach, frowning.

"M-Mr H-H-Henning w-won't lllike that…"

"I don't care what he thinks. You're hurt"

Was he genuinely concerned? That would be a first. He did seem a bit impatient though. Like there was somewhere else he should be.

We both stood there in silence, unsure of what to say. Me, slumped against a wall trying to breathe normally, he, steadying me.

"Here we are" Mr Henning appeared out of nowhere and threw a towel to Black. Black caught the towel in a swift movement and started pressing it against my stomach. I whimpered as some of the remaining pot-shards dug even deeper into my skin. Black loosened the pressure slightly and looked up at me. My tired eyes were straining to look into his as the world was spinning all around me.

"It's no good" he turned to look at Mr Henning. "We need to get her to a Healer.

"Over my dead body" came Mr Henning's callous reply.

"She's in pain and shivering" Black was slowly raising his voice.

I hadn't even noticed before, but it was a bit colder and my body seemed to be moving to some kind of invisible beat coming from my own mind.

"So fix her up with a spell, and I'll put her on bed rest for a few days"

Not very likely.

"It won't work, she'll probably get an infection afterwards."

Mr Henning shrugged his shoulders.

"Right, then I'm taking her with me" Black said after a minute of silence.

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can, if she stays here she'll die"

"What does it matter to you?"

Black looked down at my small stature. "She's family" he replied. "Not to mention…a human being"

"She's rubbish" Mr Henning said slowly. "She's old tossed out rubbish that your family didn't want" He looked down at my pale, tired face. "That nobody wants"

I couldn't see Black's face anymore. Suddenly I felt myself being picked up.

"I'll bring her back when she's all healed up…maybe"

All noises were now disappearing. I couldn't hear what Mr Henning replied or see what Black did.

When I awoke the sun was shining in my eyes and it caused me to stir. A pain shot through my stomach all the way down to my fingertips. I flinched and lay back down on my back.

"How are you feeling?"

I turned and saw Black looking down at me. His face was pale but his eyes were neutral.

"I'm good", I replied. "A little banged up, but good"

He nodded… stared at the wall for a few seconds… opened his mouth as if to say something… no words came out.

"So…" I said eventually.

"So…" He repeated. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Not anymore". My voice was flat and lifeless.

"Why not?"

I wondered whether he really cared or whether he was just making courteous small talk.

"My parents pulled me out"

"Why?"

Seriously?

"Because step-daddy doesn't care for Hogwarts"

This remark made him raise his eyebrows. "They could've sent you somewhere else?"

"I wasn't worth the trouble" I said after a moment of silence.

He had no response to that. And somehow I had just made everything awkward again. Great. Just peachy. To my surprise though, he only remained silent for a few seconds this time.

"Aludra, would you like me to get in contact with your parents?"

"What?"

"…and tell them where you are"

"Where _am _I?" Kind of strange that I hadn't thought of asking that before. It sure wasn't St Mungo's.

"At a friend's place… she used to be a Healer"

I was in a bedroom. A clean, well kept, bedroom.

"OK… why?"


	6. The Lady

"Aludra…" I was beginning to dislike his persistent use of my first name.

"I'm an escaped criminal running from the law… I can't go to a place like St. Mungo's without getting caught"

"OK…"

The silence again. I couldn't believe how awkward it was seeing this man. Or maybe I was the one making it awkward. I'd always had a knack for that.

"So… "

"Really I'm harmless" Black interrupted.

Where had that come from? I raised my eyebrow slightly.

"When have I insinuated otherwise?"

"I'm an escaped criminal…"

"I know, you told me"

"Aren't you scared?"

I focused my gaze on something behind him. And then a small, joyless giggle escaped my lips.

"Of you? There are thousands of things for me to be scared of. You're not one of them."

Once again Black was at a loss for words.

"I'll get you some water" And with those words he was gone. And I was alone. I liked it that way. It gave me time to focus on my surroundings. The room was small, but bright. It had a big window a few feet away from the bed. The curtains were white and so was a lot of the furniture. Not ivory. It was more of a… dirty white, I would guess. It was mixed with yellow and a little bit of green (a couple of plants on the windowsill). Lightly decorated. It reminded me of my childhood bedroom. I didn't like that. It filled me up with a sense of nostalgia. I remembered feelings I hadn't felt since I was a little girl. Happy feelings. Sad feelings. Joy. Anger. Sorrow. Love. Hate. Remorse. Light-heartedness. Giddiness. Restlessness. Nervousness.

I couldn't remember how many of those feelings I still felt daily. Hate. Of course. But also love. Love for the friends I had made over the years at that place. Every other emotion seemed unnecessary now. They weren't going to change anything. But I did miss them.

Black entered the room with a glass of water and put it down on my bedside table. Then he sat down again. He tried a half-hearted smile. But failed.

So we said nothing.

Almost a half hour later a lady appeared.

"Hello" she said uncertainly. "My name's Alma"

I stared.

"I made you some soup" she put it down on the table. "In case…um… in case you're hungry"

"Thanks…" I croaked.

"Maybe… maybe we should get you up into a seated position. It will be easier to eat. Sirius?"

He got up instantly and they both helped me sit up.

"So… your name is Aludra right? Like the star?"

I put the spoon down to answer her. "Yes. But my friends call me Luda."

I could see that she was wondering whether or not I had just given her permission to consider herself a friend… or something like that.

"You can call me that too"

I didn't realise until after I had uttered those words how they had come out. Sirius gave me a disapproving glare.

"It came… it came from when I was a child and wasn't really able to say my own name. Even as I got older my father kept calling me Luda. And then my friends did."

She nodded. "It's cute" she said hesitantly.

"I guess so… but I like it because it doesn't sound as posh as Aludra"

She nodded again. Very awkward. But I preferred her company over Black's.

He still wasn't saying anything. Just listening to us talk.

"You two look a lot alike" she said suddenly. "I can definitely see the resemblance"

Black and I exchanged a glance.

"Sirius told me you were a distant relative"

"I'm his niece" I responded.

"Oh" she said a bit surprised. "That's quite… closely related"

"Yeah well we haven't seen each other for years" Black was finally joining in on the conversation.

"Still…" she said (it almost felt like she was defending me).

"No he's right" I said. "I barely know this man" I nodded my head in his direction.

She seemed like she wanted to say something. But didn't. Instead she led the topic on to something Black had touched on earlier.

"Does your family know where you are?"

"No"

"I offered to get in contact with them" Black said defensively.

"And how would that work Mr 'I'm running from the law'? … you know they'll turn you in"

"Well… I could tell them" Alma said hastily. She made no comment on what I had just said. Maybe then she knew about Black's relationship to his family. Or lack there off.

"I'd rather you didn't…" my voice was still hoarse.

"Why not?"

"Because… because we've had a falling out. We don't speak"

She threw Black a glance. "You're more alike than I thought" she said under her breath. But we heard her. Pretended not to.

"OK so… is there anyone?"

"We better have her back soon or Henning's going to have my arse on a platter"

I felt cold inside. I missed my friends over there and I felt guilty when I thought about the horror they might be going through at that very moment, but it had been nice to lie in a safe, warm bed with clean sheets.

"There is no way I'm letting her go back yet. She's too weak"

Sirius looked at Alma.

"I don't think you realise what kind of man we're dealing with…"

"I don't think you realise how badly injured your **niece **is". The emphasis she put on the word "niece" made Black fall silent. She turned to me.

"Now Luda, I think it's best you stay in bed for a few days. I will be bringing you food, some things to read and whatever else you may need, okay?"

"Okay…" I said slowly. I didn't dare look at Black but I could hear his frustration as he sighed loudly and plumped down on a chair by the door.

"So…"

"So…"

"Anything you need?"

"Um… well…" What did normal people want? Should I point out that I can't read?


End file.
